Dwarf Arrested After Driving From Florida To Kansas For Sex With Underage Girl - http://bit.ly/1jWgaCw

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Dwarf Arrested After Driving From Florida To Kansas For Sex With Underage Girl

LONGWOOD, FL- Dwarf is arrested after traveling nonstop from Kansas to Florida expecting to have sex with a 14-year-old girl.

Christopher Lanning is all of 4-feet, 10-inches tall and weighs in at 90 pounds, what he lacks in stature he has in confidence. According to police he thought he had been chatting with a 14 year old girl that wanted to meet up for sex, he drove nonstop from Kansas to Florida expecting to meet up with her.

Lanning didn’t know he had actually been chatting with an undercover cop, he drove non stop from Kansas to Florida where he was greeted by police at a gas station thinking he was going to meet the “girl”.

According to police his car smelled of human waste and they found a full bottle of urine in there. “It was pretty bad,” Officer Kevin Tuck, spokesman for the Longwood Police Department, told the Sentinel on Wednesday.

It turns out Lanning’s confidence doesn’t stop with teenagers,facing a judge a day after his arrest on a long list of charges that included traveling to meet a child for sex and transmitting obscene material to a minor; Lanning had a question:

“May I ask a favor?” he repordetly asked the court.

Lanning asked the judge that since he’s not a flight risk and hasn’t had major trouble with the law, couldn’t he just go home? “I made a major mistake in judgment,” Lanning offered. He almost said he pinky promised to behave.

Nice try.

Lanning’s bond was set at $15,300, and he was ordered to not use the computer or the Internet. His arraignment is May 20.

Teen In Jail Found With Loaded Handgun Hidden In Her Vagina - http://bit.ly/1hrlY45

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Teen In Jail Found With Loaded Handgun Hidden In Her Vagina

Kingsport, TN – Another day, another chick found in jail with a handgun holstered in her cootch. According to Kingsport police, after being taken to jail for driving on a suspended license, 19-year-old Dallas Archer was found with a loaded handgun hidden inside her vagina.

Archer was inside the Kingsport jail when a corrections officer noticed an “unknown object” in Archer’s crotch during a search. A further examination revealed the unknown object was a loaded North American Arms 22 LR revolver.

Turns out the four inch, five-shot mini-revolver had been stolen from 70-year-old John Souther. He reported the $250 gun stolen last year after finding someone had ransacked his car.

When police notified Souther that his gun had been recovered and where it had been recovered from, he reportedly said he would like to have the “little fellow”back, but not before it took “a bath in bleach.”

Archer was charged with gun possession and introducing contraband into a penal facility. She was released from custody after posting $6000 bond.

This isn’t the first time we’ve reported on a woman using her vagina to smuggle a gun into jail. Last year we reported on 28-year-old Christie Harris after she was caught in jail with the same model gun holstered inside her vagina, along with some meth up her ass.

Teen Gets Swatted After Beating Someone At Call Of Duty - http://bit.ly/RLk49X

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Teen Gets Swatted After Beating Someone At Call Of Duty

Long Island, NY – A family in Long Island was greeted by a police SWAT team after someone called to report a teen inside the home had killed his family – but it turned out to be a hoax, possibly by someone the teen had beat in a game of Call of Duty.

On Tuesday, 17-year-old Rafael Castillo was enjoying his Spring Break and playing some Call of Duty online. According Castillo’s brother, someone was angry that Castillo has beaten him and threatened to “swat” him.

For those of you unaware of the latest antics teens pull nowadays, “swatting” refers to calling police to report a fake crime in hopes of having a SWAT team respond to the home of another person.

In this case, Long Island police received a call from someone pretending to be Castillo. “I just killed my mother and I might shoot more people,” the caller claimed.

This led to choppers being deployed over Castillo’s house and more than 60 officers deployed to the location, including elite members of Nassau County’s special operations unit. When officers entered the home, they found Castillo’s mother very much alive inside the kitchen.

It took police 20 minutes to get Castillo to come out because the teen didn’t hear them — he was still playing Call of Duty and had his headphones on. His brother, who’d arrived on the scene shortly after his mother had been escorted out of the house, eventually had to go get him.

“He didn’t realize anything was going on, he couldn’t hear anything,” his brother said. “I told him that there’s a bunch of cops outside that are looking for you.”

After Castillo walked outside, officers swarmed the home to ensure everything was ok, even though by this time they realized they had been a pawn in someone’s prank.

“In this bizarre world of swatting, you get points for the helicopter, for the police cars, for the SWAT team, for the type of entry,” said Long Beach police commissioner Michael Tangney.

While the prankster definitely racked up some points with their stunt, I’m sure they’re regretting it about right now as it costs the city around $100,000 and tied up emergency services that could have been used elsewhere.

“If we determine who made this call, there will be an arrest,” said Tangney. “He did something so, so foolish, and so dangerous. I’m very angry — it’s a tremendous waste of taxpayer resources, it’s a tremendous danger to law enforcement.”

As for Castillo, his days of playing Call of Duty are numbered. “The kid played too much,” his mother said. ” Go work. He’s 17, he can work.”

Woman Finds Decomposing Homeless Man Under Deck During Easter Egg Hunt - http://bit.ly/1juZOR3

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Woman Finds Decomposing Homeless Man Under Deck During Easter Egg Hunt

Knoxville, TN – A woman having an Easter egg hunt in her backyard with her 4-year-old discovered the decomposing corpse of a homeless man under her deck.

Tara Hanouskova said she’d noticed a foul odor in her backyard for several days but had been unable to locate the source. When a man came to cut her grass, she asked if he could find the source but he was unable to as well.

It wasn’t until Wednesday evening, during an Easter egg hunt with her son that Hanouskova was able topinpoint the source of the bad smell. While hunting for eggs, she saw a pair of tennis shoes under her deck.

The tennis shoes were attached to the decomposing body of 29-year-old Joshua Grubb, a homeless man who apparently crawled up under her deck and died.

Officials believe Grubb died under the deck two weeks ago of natural causes, but they are still waiting on autopsy results. Police believe Grubb’s body went unnoticed for so long because Hanouskova’s deck is large, and the area where Grubb was found is dark and narrow.

Scott Sholds Accused Of Using Cell Phone To Record Himself Raping 2-Year-Old Girl - http://bit.ly/1kDQixQ

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Scott Sholds Accused Of Using Cell Phone To Record Himself Raping 2-Year-Old Girl

Fayetteville, AR – Police have arrested 31-year-old Scott Sholds after they say he used a cell phone to record himself raping a 2-year-old girl.

Police say Sholds was busted after his ex-girlfriend discovered the video on her cell phone. She thought she’d lost the phone, not realizing her son had taken it and given to Sholds, the boy’s father.

After getting the cell phone back, she discovered a video on the phone and was horrified to find it was a video of a man raping a child later identified as the 2-year-old daughter of the woman Sholds was living with.

The ex-girlfriend called police and told them she was positive the man in the video was Sholds. I’m assuming his face was not seen in the video, as police had to match Sholds’ voice with the voice heard in the recording.

Sholds didn’t do himself any favors when he denied raping the child and claiming he never lived or slept at the little girl’s home, as police would discover he’d been living with the girl’s mother for the last nine days.

Sholds was arrested and charged with suspicion of distributing, possession and viewing child pornography, computer exploitation of a child and felony rape or sexual intercourse. He’s currently in the Washington County Detention Center on $100,000 bond. His first court date is scheduled for May 16.

Holly Morrison Accused Of Allowing Boyfriend To Sexually Assault Child Relative - http://bit.ly/1gDvt0J

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Holly Morrison Accused Of Allowing Boyfriend To Sexually Assault Child Relative

PORTLAND, ME — Holly Morrison has been charged with gross sexual assault after police say the 34-year-old allowed her boyfriend to sexually assault a developmentally disabled 14-year-old relative.

Back in November, the victim told friends and counselors at school that Morrison’s boyfriend, 59-year-old Donald Cass, had been sexually assaulting her for a month. She would later tell police that Cass would use objects to sexually assault her.

Even worse, she alleged these assaults were encouraged by Morrison, who she said encouraged her to get in the bed with the couple and shower with them. When interviewed, Morrison admitted to seeing Cass assault the girl on three occasions.

Although she said she didn’t approve of Cass’ behavior, she said he’d convinced her that sexually assaulting the developmentally disabled teen was normal. Morrison said she met Cass at a swingers’ party and that Cass, who is married, had visited her on weekends for the last five years.

In February, Cass would plead guilty to two counts of gross sexual assault. He was sentenced to eight years in prison with four years suspended. It took awhile, but Morrison was finally indicted by a grand jury on three felony counts of gross sexual assault, and three counts of endangering the welfare of a child. She was released from jail on $500 cash bail.

The only thing that truly horrifies me about this story is the image of Morrison coming in for a kiss, with a long rope of stinking, brown drool hanging off her front teeth.

Rapper Andre Johnson Cut Off His Penis Before Jumping From Building - http://bit.ly/Qe6paq

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Rapper Andre Johnson Cut Off His Penis Before Jumping From Building

Hollywood, CA – Andre Johnson, aka Christ Bearer, is recovering in the hospital after cutting off his penis and jumping from the second floor of a North Hollywood apartment.

Johnson is a member of the rap duo Northstar and part of the Wu Tang Clan family. He’s also affiliated with other groups in the Wu-Fam, including the West Coast Killa Beez and Rugged Monk of the Black Knights.

TMZ reports that other members of Northstar were present when Johnson cut off his penis without warning and then leaped from the balcony. They said when they got downstairs, Johnson was running around screaming like a banshee. They also said Johnson had not been taking hard drugs at the time of the incident.

Johnson is currently being treated at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. He’s alive, but if they cant reattach that sucker, I’m betting he’ll wish he wasn’t.

Mom On Crack Binge Gives Birth In Motel Bathtub, Chews Through Umbilical Cord - http://bit.ly/1hMbHFJ

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Mom On Crack Binge Gives Birth In Motel Bathtub, Chews Through Umbilical Cord

OCALA, FL - Police say 37-year-old Chrystal Hassell went on a crack binge inside a Florida motel before giving birth in the bathtub and then cutting the umbilical cord with her teeth.

Hassell was approximately six to seven months pregnant went she got a room at Vacation Host Inn and went and went on a 24 hour cocaine bender. She gave birth to her baby in the bathtub and chewed through the umbilical cord. To her credit, she called 911 when the baby started turning blue.

The baby is in critical condition on a ventilator at UF Heatlh Shands Hospital while Hassel is on suicide watch at the Marion County Jail facing a charge of child neglect.

Unfortunately, crack cocaine does not cause ovaries to wither on the vine. This is Hassel’s third child. She has a 16-year-old daughter who was born addicted to crack, and an 11-month old boy who was taken by the Florida Department of Children and Families after this recent incident.

The father of the baby and 11-month-old, 43-year-old Vincent Terry, was also arrested on a warrant out of El Pasco County, Colo., for domestic violence, attempted murder and drug possession.

Terry said in an interview that despite their problems, he is looking forward to a life with Hassel and his children. “Of course we’re going to stay together. My kids are here. She’s not a bad person. She just got a problem and, together, we’ll fight it,” he said.

I can fix one of their problem pretty simply. I just need a can of Drano, a funnel, and five minutes alone with Hassel.

Amber Alert Issued For Teen After Alleged Kidnapper Calls To Taunt Family - http://bit.ly/1eyZMtX

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Amber Alert Issued For Teen After Alleged Kidnapper Calls To Taunt Family

MAGNOLIA, TX – An Amber Alert has been issued for Elizabeth Rex, the 14-year-old who vanished on Monday and is believed to be with 51-year-old Randy Johnson – a one time family friend who called to taunt the family.

Elizabeth’s family told reporters they took Johnson into their mobile home after learning he was dying from colon cancer. But after eight months, Johnson had developed a relationship with “Lizzy” that they were not comfortable with and asked him to leave.

“I mean we were literally listening to every conversation and it was in code,” said Jennifer Black, Lizzy’s mother. “So once we decided what the codes were, it was like you have to go you can’t be here.”

On Monday, Lizzie walked out of their home and hasn’t been seen since. Her family had no idea where she went until they started getting phone calls from Johnson.

“He calls us and says, ‘Y’all will never see Lizzy again and things like that cuz where we’re going you can’t get there,’” said Elizabeth’s dad, Patrick Rex. “Not even ten minutes later he calls back and goes, ‘La-la-la-la.’”

Elizabeth’s family say the 14-year-old has a host of mental problems, including having a touch of Down Syndrome, autism, attention deficit disorder, bi-polar disorder, pre-developmental disorder, and a partridge in a pear tree.

“What that means is even though she is at the age of 14, she’s actually mind-wise that of a 5 to 6 year old child,” said Black, who added that Elizabeth has not taken her medication in two days.

Rex believes Johnson is taking Lizzy south to his hometown of Harlingen. So if you live in that area, keep your eyes open.

Elizabeth “Lizzy” Rex was last seen wearing black pants, a gray tank top, a red jacket, gray tennis shoes. She’s 5’1”, 113 lbs, and has brown hair and brown eyes. Johnson is 5’6”, 135 lbs, and has brown hair and hazel eyes.

Police believe Elizabeth is in immediate danger and ask anyone with any information regarding her abduction to call the Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office at (936) 760-5876.

Police Officer’s Son Charged With Stabbing Death Of Five Students At Party - http://bit.ly/1iZXdi2

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Police Officer’s Son Charged With Stabbing Death Of Five Students At Party

Calgary – Police in Calgary have named Matthew de Grood, the son of a police officer, as the sole suspect in what they call the worst mass murder in their city’s history.

It is still unclear what spurned the attack, but it happened at an all day party attended by several dozen University of Calgary students celebrating the end of classes.

De Grood had been invited to the party and arrived there after finishing his shift at a local grocery store. But for reasons unknown, at around 1:20am, the 22-year-old turned a kitchen knife on some of the party-goers.

When the attack was over, Joshua Hunter, Kaitlin Perras, and Jordan Segura were dead at the scene, while Lawrence Hong and Zackariah Rathwell would die later at the hospital.

Police would apprehend de Grood less than an hour later after he was tracked down by a K9 unit. He was treated for dog bites before being charged with five counts of first-degree murder.

Police chief Rick Hanson said de Grood targeted the victims one by one, stabbing them multiple times. He added that it didn’t appear as if de Grood had been under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the time of the attack, and that it doesn’t seem as if any of the victims had provoked him.

Since we can only speculate on a motive at this point, I’m going to put my money on the stabbings having something to do with Kaitlin.