New Post has been published on http://www.dreamindemon.com/2014/05/20/man-accused-of-sexually-assaulting-atm-picnic-table/
Man Accused Of Sexually Assaulting ATM, Picnic Table
Sex machine Lonnie Hutton reportedly walked into The Boro Bar & Grille Friday evening, and headed straight to the ATM. Then, according to witnesses, Hutton dropped his pants and undies, exposing his genitals, and attempted to make sweet, sweet love to the money machine.
No word on whether an actual deposit was made…..
When he was finished, Hutton then moseyed around the bar for a while, his junk just a bouncin’ and a swingin’, making thrusting motions with his hips, witnesses told police.
He was promptly escorted outside.
When police arrived on scene, Hutton was ordered to sit his drunk ass down at a picnic table while they collected information from the reporting party. It was then that Hutton allegedly disrobed and attempted to get his freak on with the table.
Hutton was arrested after being deemed a danger to himself and 90% of the inanimate objects within his field of vision. Bond was set at $250.
Speaking of picnic table fuckers, raise your hand if you remember Art Price. One of my faves, that one. If you have no idea what the fuck I’m talking about, click right here. Enjoy.